Sunday, September 12, 2010

some thoughts....


I come here as usual to express my thoughts. Don't care if anybody reads them...this is my place, my place where I feel like home...

Lately I have come to realize my age, at 53 I still feel young, but I feel different...mostly I feel my age when I look at other people just a bit older than I, they look old to me, but me I feel young...I realize how quick time passes us. I realize how much we waste our time worrying about things, we make plans for our future, but we don't live in today. Today is all we have...we should live in this moment .... for me I get my feelings hurt over situations I am not in control of...I image untrue situations and waste my time, instead of living...

When Brandy had her baby, my husband's ex wife and Brandy's mom were right there. My husband was called mid labor and told, "we didn't want to bother you because we knew you were at work". Even though I was not at work (break in my day) I didn't run to the hospital, to me these moments are for the couple. I had my feelings hurt as the step mom, but I made myself stop being such a baby ... the reality was that the couple were caught in the baby having
moment, called us after the birth, my husband saw the baby nearly brand new (I was working). I spent 2 hours holding him a day later...alone without the ex or other grandmother. My stepson and daughter in law appreciated us and love us just he same as the rest of the parents.

I remember being a young mother too frazzled to appreciate the little moments in my kid's life...time speeds by and now they are adults having their own kids. Now as a grandma I will not waste these moments whining or feeling slighted I will enjoy them relish them...still living my own life with my own marriage...but enjoying the show, the show of watching new lives grow up and live...their own...and loving every minute.

5 comments:

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

Good for you for taking the high road.

Paula said...

You have a good head on your shoulders Rose and you are young. My 40's and 50's were the best years of my life. Sometime in your 60's things tend to start going a little down hill so do enjoy all your moments now. Congratulations to everyone on the new precious baby.

Carlene Noggle said...

CONGRATULATIONS ON THE NEW GRANDCHILD!!! SAW HIS PICTURE IN THE PREVIOUS POST AND HE IS SO DARN BEAUTIFUL!!!

Lisa said...

Rose... congratulations on your new grandchild!! I'm finding out that this is so true as a stepmom... I'm trying my best to enjoy whatever moments I have with family and to be happy in the moment and experience today... taking things in stride. I would have enjoyed that second day alone with the new parents so much more!! Just being there without others waiting to have a turn to hold the new baby would be so refreshing and more peaceful.

FrankandMary said...

You never whine or "feel slighted" on this blog...you discuss ;-).

No operatic pathos for you. You are a wise & capable woman. And ya aint old.
~Mary
(says this 45 yr old reader)